


The Write Something Every Day (pfft just kidding) Story

by SteelDollS



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Based on a Vocaloid Song, Blood, Cooking, Crying, Dane Cook - Freeform, Death, F/M, Flashbacks, Fly Eggs, Gakupo Is An Eggplant, Ghosts, Gumi - Freeform, Gumi is a Carrot, Het, Humor, I don't know, Knives, Language, Laziness, Magic, Magical, Maybe - Freeform, Megpoid, Megumi - Freeform, Murder, My Son Optimus Prime, NCS, Needles, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Explicit Rape, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Not Canon Compliant, Nudity, Past Rape/Non-con, Possession, Prairie dogs, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Random - Freeform, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recipes, Sailor Moon - Freeform, Screaming, Self-Insert, Singing, Stabbing, Swearing, Talking Vegetables, There Must Be Sailor Eggplant, This Might Go Anywhere, Vegetables Becoming Humans, Violence, Vocaloid - Freeform, Weird, Whimsical, Write Something Every Day, the fuck is this shit - Freeform, things, vegetable
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-06-04 05:36:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6643471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteelDollS/pseuds/SteelDollS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Gumi is a carrot. Literally. From there, I dunno."</p><p>I'm pretty out of practice writing, and I'm having a hard time working on my current stories, as much as I want to continue them. So, here's a story designed for me to write anything in. The rules of the story are that I must write something in it every day. And as long as I have internet access, I'll update it here every day. I don't guarantee any particular length of word count per update or anything else.</p><p>Vocaloid is the fandom I'm most interested in, so Vocaloid characters will appear in this story. However, it may become a crossover, since I will write anything in this story. Also, the rating and/or warnings can and probably will change, so make sure that whatever I write is appropriate for you to read. There may be any type of anything here. It's my story, so I'll write whatever. Enjoy it, or I'll- actually, I don't care if you enjoy it lol, sorry, being a dick here. :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you have a suggestion or would like to see something happen in this story, feel free to write it in the comments if you want. If I feel like writing it, it may or may not happen at any point. That might sound like a strange way of putting it, but often times even when I intend a story to be written with a certain thing happening, it simply doesn't. Weird, huh? lol
> 
> Anyways, enjoy a random montage of whatever things.

A carrot ran through a field, streaming and naked and full of joy. At least, in its dreams, it did. In reality, its green leaves gazed up into the sky. Blue, blue. It reflected like the swirling clouds in the carrot's foliage until it was like a kaleidoscope, and the green mixed with the blue like soft serve ice cream cones that have a chocolate and vanilla flavored twist.

"Today, I will become a human," The carrot said quietly to the sky, its essence filled with the strength of the atmosphere. Its pupils enlargened slightly, and the blue swirling in its greenery spread downwards, outwards, enveloping the carrot. Where the blue light touched, it glowed, and the carrot stretched its body at a strong angle. 

The current of the blue sky's power surged, and two new roots formed stubbily at the carrot's sides, then sprouted out almost violently; thick with sinew, bone, and pale new flesh. The carrot's main root split in two, straight up the middle, with a loud crunching crack noise that became soft and fleshy. It raised dirt-encrusted, newly developing fingers towards the sun's light; the stress of the transformation sapped its color, leaving it pale, pale, like a plant wilting. Like a white daikon radish, with just a hint of its original orange, carrot coloring.

The top leaves of the carrot stretched like taffy in a sudden strong wind and transformed into fine strands of material; silky, beautiful, lush; and fell down to settle around the carrot's new shoulders.

The carrot raised its face to the sky as it lowered its now-formed fingers, and opened eyes with a fading blue color, until finally, the glow faded entirely and only green was left in its oculars.

Taking in a deep breath into its new lungs, the carrot opened its soft mouth and began to sing out. The grass around the carrot shivered at the notes and swayed in the fresh-smelling breeze. The clouds in the sky floated gently, creating shadows and redirecting spots of light on the earth. When the carrot's song ended, nothing but the soft breeze and the quiet movement of insects and animals far away, could be heard.

Pulling itself from the damp, cool ground, the carrot shook the dirt off its legs and stood up, a little unbalanced. Laughing in delight, it spread its arms wide and spun in an awkward circle, trying the get the hang of its new body. When it was satisfied, it raised its head with a smile, a sparkle of joy in its eyes.


	2. My Son, Optimus Prime

"One part mayonaisse, one part sriracha. A splash of soy sauce, a small dollop of wasabi. This dipping sauce is perfect for an onigiri," Optimus Prime said with pleased satisfaction as he mixed up the dipping sauce in a small bowl. "Crap. I'm almost out of furikake. I guess I'd better make some more. The grocery stores overcharge so much, its a fucking rip-off."

Putting his spicy mayo to the side for a moment and checking on the almost-finished rice, Optimus Prime grabbed a small plastic basket and headed out to the garden.

"Carrot sesame nori furikake sounds kind of delicious. Or should I use beefsteak? The carrots will be ready about now, though... better get them while they're still young and sweet," Optimus Prime mumbled to himself as he went outside for a rather brisk walk, then stopped dead a few minutes later as he finally arrived at the backwoods garden and noticed a huge fucking hole in the ground and dirt everywhere. Vegetables were uprooted and wilting pitifully around the giant hole in the ground.

"What the fuck is this shit?" He gaped and smeared his face with his free hand. "This is going to take forever to clean up... damn it. Fucking neighbors!"

Pissed, Optimus Prime grabbed some of the dying vegetables and stuffed them angrily into his basket. At least he hadn't lost this part of his crop. But why would anyone dig a huge hole in the middle of a garden?

Pointing at the hole as if it were to blame for the predicament, Optimus Prime glared and spat out, "I'll be back for YOU, later!" before turning and stalking away with his basket full of goodies.

Returning to the house, his expression turned even more stormy as his dad turned with a guilty expression and a mouth full of perfectly cooked rice.

"What the hell are you doing?" Optimus Prime asked, now enraged. "First the garden, and now you're eating my fucking lunch! Give me that damn spoon!"

Swallowing quickly and shoveling another mouthful in before Optimus Prime could successfully wrench the utensil away from his father, Dane Cook gave a shit-eating grin and chewed and swallowed in triumph.

"I'm visiting you, of course! And watch your mouth," Dane replied, still grinning. "How's my precious son?"

"I'm watching _your_ mouth, jackass," Optimus Prime grumbled sulkily, peering into the pot. Most of the rice was gone; he'd have to make another batch. "Can't you at least tell me when you're gonna visit? I could have made more, you know."

"That's okay; I'm helping you by eating this food, so you don't get fat," Dane blithely lied his ass off. "So, what's this about your garden?"

"Well, I..." Blinking and doing a double-take as he noticed Dane had the rice pot back in his hands, Optimus Prime slowly crossed his arms and stared silently. Dane stopped mid-shovelful and stared back like a deer caught in the headlights for several long moments, before slowly, slowly, raising the spoon back up to his mouth, opening his mouth, inserting the food, and closing his mouth; all without breaking eye contact.

"You're kind of a dick," Optimus Prime said.

Dane Cook slowly lowered the spoon and put more rice on it. Still without breaking eye contact. He smiled a very tiny smile and opened his mouth wide, once again.


	3. Chapter 3

Walking though the woods, a nude, dirty, green-haired girl winced as she stepped on something particularly sharp with her new, tender feet. Plucking a small stone from between her toes, she stared at it for a long moment before tossing it over her shoulder. Her stomach rumbled, and she decided to take a rest and have something to eat.

"This is a big forest," Sitting down a bit awkwardly, she sighed to herself; still happy, but quickly tiring. "Human bodies can do lots of things, but they don't have endless stamina, it seems. Well, I guess some human food will help my energy."

Not having a knife and not knowing how to cook anything, the girl barely even knew enough to brush the dirt off the eggplant she had taken from the uprooted garden before setting off onto her adventure. As her fingers removed the caked-on dirt away from the eggplant's smooth, purple skin, it made a silent coughing sound of gratitude. The girl blinked, delighted; she'd never spoken to another vegetable before, because she'd been stuck mostly in the ground her entire life until now. But she was still hungry, so she raised it up to her mouth anyways, ready to take a big bite.

"Don't eat me!" a voice said from the eggplant that wasn't audible.

"I'm a human now; and I'm hungry, eggplant. I need to eat you. You understand, don't you? I'm a human," the girl explained, feeling a little guilty but determined. Her stomach made an especially loud growl at her and she clutched it with her free hand.

"I understand, but I don't want to be eaten," the eggplant said with a note of desperation to its silently lilting voice. "My dream is to become a samurai. If you eat me, I will never fulfill my dream of dancing my way through life!"

"That would be horrible," The girl slowly lowered the eggplant a little bit, concern in her tone. Her brow furrowed. "You should become a human, like me. Then you can be a human samurai. An eggplant samurai is something I don't think will work too well."

"I don't know how," the eggplant said despairingly.

"Well, if you turn into a human, though, I don't think, as a human being, it'd be kosher to eat you," the frowning girl mused almost inaudibly to herself. "But if I don't eat you, I'll still be hungry. I might starve to death before I realize my own dreams."

"I can help you," the eggplant offered hopefully. "I've been up above the earth while you were growing deep in the ground. I've seen many things. I can be useful to you. In return, if you don't eat me, and help me to become a samurai, I will share my advice with you, for as long as you wish. We can be travel companions!"

"I've never had a travel companion before," replied the girl, deep in thought. "Then again, I've never traveled before. But I'm not sure if I can trust you. Prove yourself to me- tell me something good you've learned about humans from growing above ground for all this time, and I'll judge whether to eat you or trust you to be my companion."

"Uh," the eggplant thought fast. "Well, one thing that humans have that vegetables don't, that you'll need for certain if you're to live as a human, is a name." 

"My name is carrot," the girl replied instantly. "You fail, eggplant."

"Wait! Wait!" the eggplant screamed quickly as white teeth approached hungrily. The girl paused with an annoyed look on her face. "That name won't do. Humans need human names! Carrot is a vegetable name!"

"Oh," the girl said, shocked.

"Th-that's right. If you ate me, you wouldn't even know that, would you?" the eggplant said, still in a panic. "So, don't eat me! You need me!"

"Huh," the girl said, then shook her silky green hair a little bit, frowning and thinking. "Alright, then. Fine."

"Do I pass?" the eggplant asked anxiously.

"You can pass. But only if you give me a human name. And help me find something else to eat?" the girl asked wistfully, still clutching her stomach as it gurgled again.

"It's a deal," the eggplant said, sounding satisfied and more than a little relieved. "I've heard a lot of names over the weeks I've been alive. I'll tell you some, until you find one you like."

The girl smiled excitedly and nodded, then stood again, ready to face the human world once more. Unbeknownst to her, the eggplant was full of crap, and was making stuff up on the spot. In the few weeks he'd been alive, he'd barely even seen a human except for when one came to water him or pull up weeds. But, what the carrot didn't know... would help him become a samurai.

"Eggplant samurai, dance through the night," the eggplant whispered to himself as the sun struck him with shining rays that offset his beautiful purple color.

"What's that?" the girl asked.

"Nothing. Let's go find you some human food that's not me," the eggplant replied.

"Heh," the girl replied, and began walking once more.


	4. Chapter 4

On the other side of the galaxy, far, far away, the writer stared at a computer screen and sighed very dramatically, causing the oceans to ripple and the trees to sway in rainbow colors like pastel sherbet.

"I don't feel like writing anything today, or thinking of how to make things fit together. I'd rather go to bed and think about sexy things."

Stretching immensely, the author looked around for a blanket, but could not find one.

"That's alright, I will just use this starfield," the author said quietly, and with a small smile, took hold of one edge of the night sky and tugged it close, to wrap up inside of it.

"It would be nice if the universe was nice and cozy, like this blanket," the soft musing came from beneath the dark, gently twinkling sheet of expansive stars. Turning over to find a more comfortable position, the author's closed eyes met with a long exhaled breath outward.

The stretch of the starfield's effect rippled across the universe, and continued to ripple, affecting things ever so little, the farther out it went. And on the other edge of the galaxy, that tiny ripple touched a small, brilliant, yellow sun with a blue, sparkling light for a brief moment... and then quickly faded just a moment later.


	5. Chapter 5

"Marissa," the eggplant said, growing weary. "Thomas. Nyan-nyan."

"I don't like those names either!" Stomping her foot impatiently, the green-haired girl winced as she simultaneously stomped onto a sharp twig. "Owww."

"Don't whine. If you whine as a human, it's bad for your complexion," the eggplant said severely.

"What the hell's a complexion?" The former carrot huffed, greatly irritated and with a few tears in her eyes. "Anyways, I don't think you're very good at this."

"It means if you complain too much you'll get ugly. Then your face will become like a dog's," the eggplant said in a low, almost whispered tone. The girl's head shot up quickly; she remembered dogs. Those nasty, slobbery things that peed on her vegetable bed! 

"I don't want to turn into a dog!" the girl said, alarmed.

"Well, choose a name then, and stop fussing," the eggplant retorted, starting to get annoyed. The girl bent her neck backwards at an angle and let out a deep noisy sigh, her arms hanging limp at her sides. 

"Are you SURE 'carrot' is no good?" she asked hopefully.

"No," the eggplant said shortly, and the girl slumped, defeated. "Just pick one; you can always change it later."

"I can do that?" the girl asked, shocked.

"I don't see why not," the eggplant defended its position. "After all, if a carrot can become a human, then a human can change its name."

"Huh..." the girl mused on that quietly for a little while, the straightened back up. "Okay, keep giving me choices. And I'm hungry again, so tell me where to get more food. I don't see any more berries around here"

"R-right," the eggplant agreed quickly, suddenly nervous again as it was reminded of what might happen if the girl got too hungry. "Diatomaceous. Uh... Trowel... Marie... Megumi... Marissa..."

"You already said Marissa!" The carrot cut in, then stopped. "Wait, I like that one."

"Marissa?" The eggplant asked gratefully, relieved.

"No, Goomy; I like that," the girl said.

"Megumi?" The eggplant asked, sweatdropping as only a vegetable can do.

"Gumi!" The girl snapped back. "Call me Gumi! I'll be Gumi! Don't call me weird stuff!"

The eggplant's sweatdrop grew larger.

"Right. I will not call you weird stuff," he replied submissively. "Gumi isn't weird, though?"

"What was that?!" Gumi asked in a low tone full of warning.

"..." the eggplant replied, realizing he'd said the quiet part loud.

"Yeah, I thought so. Now we need a name for you," Gumi said with her arms crossed. "You may not be a human yet, but there's no reason we can't get a head start on making you a human samurai, after all."

"I guess so," the eggplant said. "I'll be Gakupo."

"So, we'l have to think of some good names for a samurai," Gumi continued, starting to get into the idea. "I'm not too good with knowing human names, but-"

"I'll be Gakupo," the eggplant repeated.

"-you know lots of names, so if we start now, we'll probably-" the girl continued on, unfazed.

"I'm Gakupo," the eggplant said again, a small tension mark appearing near its purple skin.

"-and you seem to like 'Marissa' a lot, maybe that would be a good-" Gumi continued to chatter.

"GUMI!" The eggplant shouted as hard as its foliage could silently shout.

"What?!" Gumi replied back loudly, startled.

"My name'll be Gakupo, okay?" the eggplant said, suddenly feeling very tired.

"That's kind of a dumb name," she frowned and started to open her mouth again. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather-"

"It's decided!" Gakupo shouted with all the force that his vegetable body could muster.

"Jeez. You don't have to shout," Gumi muttered. "I can hear you just fine, you know."

 

...For a very long moment, Gakupo really did wish he was a human already. If for no other reason than to slather his hands over his face.


	6. Chapter 6

In a small jungle in Africa, a herd of prairie dogs stampeded through the lush desert. Huge bellows of sand and termites flew up into the air behind the vicious, rampaging animals. In the distance, a lone prairie dog stood up suddenly on its hind two legs with a severe, bug-eyed expression, and swiveled its head in a sheer instant to stare far off into the distance. At once, the herd stopped as one and stared back.

"Chitter chitter," said the lead prairie dog.

"CHITTER," the lone prairie dog replied back and stood even a little higher on its hindquarters. The coats of the herd ruffled in a sudden wind, and an ominous tone like a western film sounded dimly in the background as the lead dog slowly and majestically rose to its hindquarters, mirroring the lone dog. The herd followed suit; as if practiced. As a whole unit, the herd stood as tall as they could and stared with bugged-out eyeballs back at the lone dog, who continued to stand its ground.

"Chitter," the lone dog proclaimed, breaking the tense silence. From all around, from burrows in the ground that were invisible up until a moment ago... from behind rocks, nooks, crannies, bushes, and the odd cloud of sand and termite, one by one, new prairie dogs popped up out of the ground.

They weren't in sync. There was no rhyme or reason; no perfect collusion of timing. The pack of dogs whimpered and chittered and their heads started to explode one by one.

"Chitter! Chitter chitter!" The terrified and unprepared lead dog shouted in confusion and alarm.

"Chittterrrrr!" The previously lone prairie dog cried out as if a battle cry, and the guerrilla dogs started leaping and bounding towards the bleeding, exploding mass of the herd; still out of sync.

The attack was grizzly. One after another, between exploding brains and the vicious teeth of the rogue dogs ripping out the throats of the uniform pack, the previous force of prairie dogs was in a few moments almost completely wiped out.

"C-chitter... chitter..." the traumatized lead dog stuttered in fear as the previously-lone dog slowly advanced to the front of the disarranged lines. It reared up on its hindquarters one last time and stared at the previous leader; its bug eyes bulging out its sockets even more as the lead dog stared back into the fact of what it knew would be its ugly death.

A raucous chorus of victorious chittering rang out through the jungle, as the lone prairie dog, leader of the pack of rebel dogs, lifted its bloodstained buck teeth to the sky, its little arms waving triumphantly in bloody glory.


	7. Chapter 7

Gumi and Gakupo arrived at the edge of the forest. The walk had been quite long and both were tired. But Gumi looked up with sudden surprise and renewed energy as she noticed that they were not alone anymore. Her mouth brightened into a huge smile as her eyes took in the first human she'd seen while in her new, human body, and she waved suddenly, enthusiastic once again.

"Hi! You, stranger, hello! My name is Gumi! I'm a human!" The former carrot exclaimed, friendly and anxious to interact. This was it! Her being human was now official!

"Hi!" Gakupo stated too; the excitement was a little contagious. However, the human only turned his head to Gumi, and didn't seem to hear the eggplant at all.

"Why, hello, cute girl," The man smiled. Gumi ran over a short distance and stood near the man, smiling back widely. She wanted to prove that she was indeed already going to be a good human. "This is an unexpected present, meeting a cute girl like you here, at the edge of the woods. Do you live around here?"

The man glanced around, still smiling.

"Are you alone?" he continued, then closed his mouth and returned his bright, focused gaze to her body.

Gumi laughed a little, excited but a bit shy. Didn't this man see Gakupo? But maybe the human meant, was there anybody that was a human being around?

"I'm not alone, I am with my friend," Gumi replied cheerfully. "His name is Gakupo, and he is going to become a samurai!"

Raising Gakupo up in her hand to show the man the purple eggplant, Gakupo blushed a brilliant, deep, violet hue.

"You didn't need to tell him that, Gumi," Gakupo said, embarrassed. His voice didn't sound entirely displeased, so Gumi just laughed a little.

"Oh, Gakupo? Do you mean the eggplant?" The man asked after a moment. His face was still smiling, and he took a step closer to Gumi. His hand touched her shoulder and moved slightly towards her collarbone. Gumi looked at it, then back to the human.

"Well, of course. Actually, I came from way back in the forest. But it was a long walk. Do you know anywhere I can get some food? Or a place to rest like humans do?" Gumi smiled at the ground and drew a line in the ground with her dirty toe. Maybe now that she'd met her first human friend, she'd be able to learn all sorts of things about humans that even Gakupo couldn't tell her. Her smile grew bigger and she grew a little more shy.

"Yes, of course," the man continued to smile and touched her silky green hair. Gumi looked up again and smiled. "I can take you somewhere; there's a lot of food there, and a very, very soft bed. It'd feel very nice for a cute girl like you to rest on. Maybe we can find some beautiful clothes for you, too. Would you like that?"

"Clothes?" Gumi asked.

"Those are the things humans wear on their bodies, Gumi," Gakupo replied knowingly. He was watching the human carefully. He hadn't seen too many interactions between two humans before, but the expression on the man's face looked strange to the eggplant somehow. He was smiling, but his eyes seemed a little too focused; a little too sharp. The eggplant didn't know why, but he felt a mild edge of uneasiness.

But even if he said so, there was nothing tangible about it; and the former carrot did need food and a place to rest. Gakupo could use a rest, too. He wondered what it would feel like to rest on a soft bed like the man was describing. But then again...

"Gumi, make sure that this human doesn't eat me. If there's really a lot of human food that he already has, don't leave me alone there. You promised to help me become a samurai, so don't let me be eaten," Gakupo whispered urgently. "Something feels a little off."

"I promise," Gumi said and nodded to punctuate her words. The man blinked and cocked his head at her.

"You promise?" The man asked, smiling.

"You won't eat Gakupo, will you? Gumi asked, turning serious eyes back to the man. "He is my travel companion, so I must help him become a samurai. You mustn't eat him. Especially if there is other food."

"Yes. Yes, of course. Your eggplant. It'll become a samurai for sure, cute girl," the man smiled larger and touched her arm, then trailed his hand down to her hand and held it. Gumi looked at it and blushed all of a sudden. The man's hand was warm and strong. She laughed a little.

"Hehhehe.. I'll never be pulled up out of the ground by human hands! Now that I'm human myself!" She said with a quiet delight as she realized it, and she closed her hand around the man's hand. She was on the same level as the humans now. She looked up, proud and full of youthful spirit; happy.

"You are a very good girl, Gumi," the man said in a soothing sounding voice and he tightened his grip even a little further. "Come along with me. I'll take you to a good place, and you can be with your eggplant and me, and have a nice meal. Okay? Come with me, now."

"Is it far?" Gumi skipped a little to keep up with the length of the man's longer strides. Her feet hurt pretty badly from twigs, roots, and stones, and the man was walking a little too fast for comfort. But the promise of a bed and human food was worth it. She stared up at the human's face, smiling through the pain in her features.

"No, not far at all. Just a short drive away," the man replied easily, and walked just a little faster.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY   
> the rating is changing to "don't read this" lol  
> I'll fix it once the new crap is uploaded; if you're a kiddo know it and go play with toys.

"Good girl," The man said approvingly. Gumi stepped down from the vehicle and looked around her in wonder. Holding Gakupo in her dirty hands, she grinned widely and turned her neck to see the human who'd brought her to this new place.

A large building, hundreds of times bigger than the sticks used to hold the vegetables upright with, stood with peeling paint of faded color next to a driveway covered in smooth, black rocks that seemed to be somehow fused together. The smoothness was a blessing to Gumi's feet, and she laughed out loud in delight and spun around.

"Gakupo! What is this? Is this a human's garden?" Gumi exclaimed in excitement.

"Y-yes, I think so," the eggplant marveled along with his friend. "I think that big building is called a house. Humans live inside of them. I heard our gardener say something about houses once."

"This is amazing! It's so big!" Gumi enthused as the human nearby caught her eye and smiled at her again. She grinned back with all of her white teeth showing, her eyes clenched shut tightly for a brief moment from the strength of her approval.

"Come along inside, little girl. I'll make something nice for you, and we'll get you cleaned up," Still smiling, the human held out his hand and stared at her. Gumi nodded her head quickly and reached out without hesitation, taking the human's hand with a little thrill. IT wasn't so long ago that she hadn't had hands, or fingers, to grasp with, or feet to walk with, but now? Now she was walking into a human house, to eat human food, and it was all so exciting, she almost didn't know what to do with herself.

"Good girl, Gumi. Good girl. Just do what I tell you, and things will be so nice for you," The man rumbled and led her into the house.

Staring around with wide eyes, taking every little thing in, Gumi turned in distraction as the human closed and locked the door behind her with a dully shiny piece of metal, which he then slipped into his pocket. Hands reached out to tough the back of a ratty couch, a dog-chewed corner of a coffee table on a partially broken crate where one leg was missing, a pile of old and tattered magazines that had a few suspicious-looking stains on them.

"This is a house!" Gumi exclaimed. "Are these things food? They're so big!" 

"I... I don't know, I don't think so," Gakupo said in reply, his foliage soaking in the view of the crappy furniture. "I don't know, Gumi... ths house seems kind of..."

"It's so wonderful!" Gumi beamed with pride at being in a place that humans could inhabit. "This house is... is... really interesting!"

The human was staring at her and still smiling, but Gakupo felt strange about the house, and even more strange about the human. When he'd been on the vine, gardeners had come and gone, but none of them had smiled so constantly. It seemed strange. And the look in the man's eye was strange, too. He never took his gaze away from Gumi, though his eyes trailed up and down her form constantly.

Could it be that this human sensed something was wrong about the former carrot? Maybe he was watching so intently to find out if she wasn't a human, but actually a vegetable. Maybe, if he found out, Gumi and Gakupo would both become part of the human's dinner. Alarm bells started to ring louder in Gakupo's eggplant head. This could be dangerous.

"Gumi, calm down. I'm- I'm not sure about this. This human-" The eggplant started to speak again, but the man in question cut him off as if he didn't hear a single thing Gakupo was saying.

"Yes, it is an interesting house, isn't it? There are lots of interesting things here. I'll show you... so many things. Would you like that, girl?" The human touched Gumi's collarbone and stroked downwards lightly, smudging some of the dirt on her torso. It had dried to a powder as she had walked, but the man's fingers were greasy, and rehydrated some of the dirt as he touched there.

"Yes! I want to learn everything about the huma- about... about everything!" Gumi caught herself as she blurted out her reply, green eyes sparkling with joy. She glanced at the finger briefly, then back at the human, catching his eyes. His smile grew, though his eyes remained unchanged as they watched her carefully.

"Pretty little girl," He murmured as if to himself, and the corner of his mouth quirked up a little big more, making his smile lopsided. "What should we do first?"

"Well, I'm very hungry, but I'm very thirsty, and also tired. May I have some water, please?" Gumi asked, suddenly feeling a little shy. She wondered if humans drank water in a different way than vegetables did.

"Of course," The human responded, taking her hand tightly in his again, and pulling her, stumbling, into the next room. Turning on a faucet, he rinsed out a grimy cup by swishing water in it. Gumi's eyes stared at the water. Her mouth felt very dry as her gaze glued to the liquid sloshing in the filthy cup. It looked a little rusty, but she didn't care. She was sure it would be wonderful.

"W-what? No, wait! The water!" Dismayed, the green-haired girl watched with tears rising in her eyes as the human emptied the precious fluid down the drain. "Please, put the water! I'm very thirsty."

Gakupo frowned to himself. Something was wrong here. It wasn't just him being suspicious, was it? He needed to talk to Gumi, and quickly.

"Gumi-"

"Don't worry, little girl. I'm going to give you a more delicious drink than just that water," The human interrupted Gakupo again. The eggplant fumed at being cut off, still feeling alarmed. Turning, the human grabbed a clear bottle of something, and poured it into the still-dirty glass. He handed it over to Gumi. She gently placed her eggplant on the counter in order to receive the glass somewhat clumsily, with both hands. It was heavier than it looked.

"O..oh," Gumi said, confused and still a little distraught. She stared at the fluid in the glass, not sure how to drink it. This was more delicious fluid than water? Maybe... maybe... it would be better than water, but... "H-how... do..."

She couldn't bring herself to complete the sentence. She felt a little ashamed; she didn't know how to even drink like a human. Glancing to Gakupo for help, she opened her mouth to ask, but the human's large hand closed over her own hand and lifted the glass carefully up to her mouth, pouring some of the fluid inside.

Swallowing instinctively, she choked and sputtered. The stuff was bad, it was bad! The man forced the cup to tilt again, despite Gumi's struggling against him to lower the cup away from her lips.

"No! Wait! Please, I-" Gumi coughed again and was forced to drink another gulp of the concoction as fluid overflowed at the sides of her mouth and trickled ticklishly down her naked, dirt-dusted body.

"Drink it all down, girl," The human said from what suddenly sounded like far away. Gumi coughed, struggled, but her body suddenly felt very weak, and in a few more moments, her head lolled to one side and she collapsed in the human's arms.

"Gumi! Gumi!" Gakupo shouted again and again in alarm from his place on the counter. "Gumi!"


	9. Chapter 9

Gumi woke up disoriented, a cool and damp sensation moving across her skin. Her eyes focused with difficulty to see the human who had brought her into the house, standing over her. There was a wet piece of fabric in his hand, and he was running it over her no-longer dirt-covered body. Soft, pink skin, was underneath the layer of dirt that had covered her when she'd pulled herself out of the garden. She tried to focus her eyes on the sight of her own nude body, but her head hurt badly, and she was confused.

"Gakupo?" Gumi asked weakly.

"Ah, you woke up, little girl," The human replied. "Did you have a nice nap? I cleaned you up while you were sleeping. Though, you might get dirty again in a little while."

"Gakupo..." Gumi repeated, starting to feel a little scared. She couldn't move her hands or legs. What was happening? What was going on?

"Gakupo... your... eggplant?" The human asked, laughing. He tilted his head down at her as he grinned. "Don't worry, your... Gakupo... is just fine. I thought we could have some adult time together. Wouldn't that be nice, little girl?"

"Gakupo... Gakupo..." Gumi repeated, her mind feeling numb, but growing more alarmed. Everything felt fuzzy, except for her fear. That was sharp. Where was her companion? Gakupo would know what was happening. He knew all sorts of things. Where was he, when she needed him the most?

The human frowned all of a sudden, and Gumi's eyes rolled in fright. She didn't understand what was happening. She started to cry.

Standing up and towering over her, the man turned and disappeared from Gumi's sight. She whimpered. It was scary, it was scary. She needed her friend, but now even the human had left, and she didn't understand, she couldn't move, and it hurt, it hurt.

Suddenly, a deep flash of purple blurred across her vision, and the human settled a blob of violet in an armchair near Gumi's eyes.

"Gumi! Are you okay?" Gakupo asked in a panic.

"Gakupo..." The carrot girl replied faintly in relief. "Gakupo..."

"There, see? Your precious eggplant is right there," The man said soothingly as he lifted her to a seated position. Gumi's legs flopped bonelessly and the human adjusted her thighs with his large, strong hands. Gumi's green eyes stayed fixated on the eggplant, though her head was having trouble staying upright. The man didn't take his hand from her thigh, instead moving closer to her, and breathing against her neck warmly. Gumi breathed shallowly, trying to wake up the rest of the way, trying to move, but being unable to do so.

"That drink I gave you was something special I make," The human continued to speak. His hand slowly travelled up her thigh, towards the place her legs met. He stroked against the flesh there, and Gumi could feel something like lips down there moving slightly against the touch. It felt strange, and she wasn't sure she liked the touch. Everything felt strange, and she still was alarmed. Tears trickled from her eyes in helpless fear as he body continued to refuse to obey her attempts to move it.

"Stop," Gumi whispered. "Stop. Gakupo..."

"Gumi..." Gakupo said in rising alarm. He didn't know what the human had done to the carrot girl, but whatever he was doing, the eggplant was certain that it wasn't a good thing. All else aside, Gakupo didn't want Gumi to be hurt. Maybe she would eat him if she got hungry and maybe she wouldn't, but this was about more than her helping him to become a samurai, now. He needed to protect his friend. "Human! You! Don't touch her!"

But as loud as Gakupo shouted, the human simply didn't hear, and the human's hand didn't stop. Opening his mouth slightly against Gumi's neck, the man lowered white teeth on her delicate flesh and slowly, slowly, sunk his teeth into her skin. He grinned blissfully as Gumi's limp body jerked reflexively and she let out a strangled scream. At the same time as she screamed, the man roughly and unforgivingly ripped his thick, strong fingers upwards into her previously untouched body. 

Gumi's heart beat like a jackrabbit's as she shrieked, pain blossoming in twin places, burning and hurting. Her eyes were crying freely now and she could barely manage to gasp panic breaths into her lax, unresponsive body.

"No, no," sobbing, the carrot girl gave everything she had to trying to break free, but she couldn't even move a finger. "Help, help me, Gakupo, help me!"

"You love your eggplant a lot, don't you?" The man released his grip on her neck and licked the blood from his lips. His finger cruelly stirred her from below and she shrieked again for help. "Your eggplant can watch while I teach you so many, so, so many things, little girl. I'll teach your body everything I want. And when we're through, Gumi... I'll slice up your eggplant and fry it in oil and I'll eat it little by little until it's all... gone."

"No! No!" Gumi screamed. The man grinned, then frowned, then slapped her hard. She fell over like a broken doll, tumbling from the couch and banging against the broken coffee table painfully. 

"I don't think you understand that you mustn't say no to me, girl," The man said quietly, his previously smiling face turning into something that looked like a demon's. Gumi sobbed in terror as he advanced on her. Kneeling and picking something up that had a long, sharp, thin piece of metal attached to it, he stared into her frightened green eyes as he stroked her cheek with the piece of equipment.

"Gumi! Run away! Stop! Stop! No!" Gakupo's shouts were in the background, as if faded away or muted, despite their edge of hysteria.

"See this needle?" The man tapped the instrument against her cheek again, as if to gain her full attention. Gumi's rounded eyes full of tears struggled to look at the thing in the man's hand. "I filled it with fly eggs. The interesting thing about fly eggs," he trailed it down to one of her small breasts, "is that they don't require oxygen to hatch. You put fly larvae inside a living thing, and they'll hatch just fine... and just eat their way out. Of course, the body's immune system doesn't like that much, so it causes agonizing infection... huge pockets of pus waiting to explode beneath your skin... unless the flies burrow the wrong way, of course."

He trailed the needle down to Gumi's stomach, his free hand grabbing at her chest and groping with painful strength that discolored the flesh. Gumi shrieked again, her body shaking all over.

"If they eat the wrong way, they'll burrow into your organs," The human continued, still quietly, as if Gumi's terror gave him some form of pleasure. "And if that happens, you'll die in the most painful way. Your corpse won't even look like a human. Riddled with holes from maggots... heh... this is why... little girl... you shouldn't make me so angry like this. Don't tell me no ever again," he finished with a whisper.

Moving his mouth to Gumi's, he licked the inside of her lax mouth thoroughly, enjoying the flavor of her trembling lips and tongue. His unblinking eyes stared into her terrified, crying ones, as he moved the needle slightly, then jammed it hard into her flesh and injected the contents while Gumi screamed into his mouth.

"NO!" Gakupo hollered, helpless as an eggplant, from his stationary position.

Moving slightly, the human laughed as Gumi shrieked again. He grabbed her by her lush green hair and wrenched her across the makeshift coffee table, lowered his zipper, and unceremoniously shoved his erect, interested cock into her newly bleeding backside.

Pain and screaming and blood, as the human kept his cruel grip on Gumi's hair from behind her, wrenching her head upwards and exposing her white, creamy throat as he raped her brutally against the hard, broken table; her back arching at a horrible angle. He licked against the side of her neck as he rammed forwards again and again to the beautiful sounds of her continuing screams.


	10. Chapter 10

Dull green eyes stared lifelessly from where they rested on the broken coffee table. Green hair spilled over the dirty table; dirty from blood and semen and vomit. The man shoved the girl onto the floor as if she were so much trash to be dealt with. Grabbing a dirty liquor bottle, he washed back the taste of coppery blood down his throat. Horking up a logie, he spat it onto the garbage that was the face of the girl's dead corpse.

"Don't go anywhere, sweetheart. I'll use you a couple more times before I chuck you out back," the man said, smirking to himself and cleaning up his junk on a ratty old hand towel. What a stroke of luck it'd been, to have this girl wander off on her own. He'd really gotten lucky. Nabbing the young ones, especially the pretty ones, was almost impossible. Someone was always watching. But when they snuck out on their own accord...

The man laughed to himself and finished off the liquor in the bottle. Shoving it roughly up the dead girl's bleeding, broken hole, he stood back to admire his grotesque handiwork, before wandering off to find the handsaw he wanted. There was no point in wasting any of those sexy little holes, and he'd be able to get much better access to her throat with that damn ugly head out of the way. It was great while she was screaming, but now... he could REALLY have some fun.

In good spirits from satisfying his cock's impulses, the man returned, saw in one hand, and grabbed a fistful of the girl's hair. Dragging her rudely off of the table with a meaty thump as limbs smacked against the floor, a trail of blood and gore was left behind as he pulled her, still by the hair, across the house, into the dirty bathroom, where the drain was.

"Pretty... pretty little girl... you shouldn't have told me no."

...

Gumi's pupils pulsed outwards, expanding suddenly as her eyes went unseeing. She fainted with eyes still wide open, her mouth stopped in the middle of her most recent scream. The man moving behind her groaned loudly and rutted himself forward hard, hard, violently, tearing her badly, and coming inside in a hot rush of smelly, writhing, vile cum. Panting as if out of breath, he slid his satisfied member out of the girl's bleeding place. A slimy, gooey trail of semen and blood followed his cock out, and he wiped himself partly clean on her buttocks and thigh.

Realizing that the girl had stopped screaming, he turned her over unceremoniously, and checked to see if she was still breathing. Her chest was moving shallowly. Her eyes stared off into the distance as if she was dead, but she was still lightly breathing. Making a content sound, the man turned and smirked at the eggplant.

"Guess your little vegetable wasn't a good enough knight, sexy little crazy girl," the human mocked, a lightheaded little laugh leaving him in a good humor, as he left the room and the unconscious girl in it. "My 'medicine' will wear off in a while, so I'd better feed you some more, hadn't I?"

Gakupo stared with fury after the human, hate filling his eggplant flesh. Despite his shouting and his struggling, in the end, he couldn't do anything but watch the carrot girl get violated in a despicable way. If this was what humans were like, then he didn't want to be human; not even to be a samurai. 

A human. A creature that laughed at hurting others. That ripped his fellow vegetables from their vines and ground them to death between its teeth as a meal. That left his travel companion- a carrot girl who never did anything bad to the human- bleeding and damaged on a coffee table, maybe dead, maybe alive, after laughing at hearing her screams... if this was what being human was, Gakupo wanted every human to die horribly. Before they could hurt anyone else, ever again!

"Gumi," A choked voice with fury and regret and hate came quietly from Gakupo's foliage once more. "If I ever become a samurai... I won't let this ever happen again, Gumi. Are you alive? I couldn't stop him. I couldn't do anything... I'm sorry... Gumi..."

Something shimmered near the unconscious girl's head. Gakupo blinked, then looked again. The soft glow was still there. It moved slightly, as if noticing him. All of a sudden, it rushed, translucent and with a vague sense of an aqua coloring, like gauzey spiderweb silk, at the eggplant.

"No!" Gakupo shouted in alarm, and then the shimmering glow slammed into him, and he looked around, dazed. Everything was fuzzy, as if in a memory. On the coffee table, a girl with green hair was still there. But the hair was longer, lankier, straighter. The human's hand drew into focus, grabbing the girl's head and dragging her meatily away; teal-colored eyes staring dead into the air.

"Miku," A whispered voice, a girl's voice, ghosted through Gakupo's foliage, and then just as suddenly, he was slammed back to reality. The translucent thing moved away from him and hovered back next to Gumi's head, then descended slowly along the length of her body. A mild aqua-color glowed vaguely for a moment along the entire length of the carrot girl's form, then disappeared, leaving the light glowing only in her still-open, unconscious eyes.

"Ah, this should do it," The human's voice came, disembodied, from the kitchen. The sound of jars and pans clattering.

Gumi's head turned slowly, creakily, its unfocused eyes, glowing, turning at an uncomfortable angle to focus directly on the eggplant. Gakupo shivered in fear, his violet coloring paling slightly. The aqua color grew brighter and brighter like a candle flame, focusing on the eggplant. The aqua turned bluer and bluer, and something painful shocked through the eggplant. Gakupo shouted.

"Who's there?!" The human rushed from the kitchen, knocking over something that shattered in his haste. He looked aggressively back and forth, one hand gripping a long, wicked kitchen blade. Staring at the eggplant suffused with a blue light, the man stumbled backwards half a step, and bumped into Gumi's body.

"What?!" The man shouted in alarm and confusion. "How are you-?"

Whatever the man was going to ask was cut off as the dead-looking eyes glowing at him burned their hate into him, and a slim, pale hand raised as if with a supernatural strength to grip his hand that was holding the knife, turning it painfully as the man shrieked, to aim inwards, as Gumi forced the man to plunge the blade deeply into his own belly.

The feeling of parting flesh was much smoother than might be expected, as if the man's belly was made of partially rotten meat itself, and the knife was like a heated blade passing through congealed, rancid animal lard. The man interrupted his own screams by hacking up a good sum of blood. He collapsed on the floor, writhing horribly and trying to scream again through the bubbling fluid of his own vomitous bile and lifeblood. His eyes rolled and bulged with red cracks in their sockets, making a horrible visual image as he slowly began to die. He reached one hand upwards towards Gumi as if to ask for help or to drag her down with him.

She raised the knife and stabbed again, blood splatters striking her cheek as her blank expression twisted into a demonically gleeful, hate-filled grin. In the distance, the sound of a girl laughing happily echoed again and again. It took a good 10 minutes for the human to die; injuries by way of knife had punctured flappy holes in his cheeks, his chest, guts, and especially his genitals, until they looked like an exploded mess of fleshy popcorn. As the last pump of blood from his beating heart drained, and his eyes glazed over in bulging shock, the green-haired carrot girl swayed on her feet, then collapsed on the floor, dropping the knife as she did so.

All of the glowing light in the room- blue and green alike- extinguished itself.

"G-Gumi..." Gakupo whispered. "Gu...mi..?"

Stirring after a long time, long enough for the blood to have congealed on the floor, the carrot girl lifted herself weakly to a kneeling position. Her whole body was shaking as she looked up, saw the human, and saw Gakupo. Everything hurt. Everything hurt so much, but...

"Don't look at me!" Gumi shrieked with an abused-sounding voice. She tried to cover herself with her hands and she wretchedly cried on the floor, huddling away from Gakupo's line of sight and hugging her knees to her weak body.

"Gumi!" Gakupo shouted, conflicted. "Are... are you alright... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I couldn't... I..! Gumi..."

Sobbing in the corner of the room for a long time, Gakupo could do nothing for Gumi but wait helplessly.

"Gumi... that human... he's dead. He... he won't do anything, anymore," Gakupo said after a long time. "I know it must hurt but... are you okay? Gumi? I... I saw... there was another girl, here. She... I saw it..."

"Me too," Gumi said in a small voice, surprising the eggplant. "I saw it, too. Her name is Miku. She... she did this. I saw her. He was doing to me what he did to her. That's why... that's why... we're the same, she says. That's why... we could be... together."

"Together?" Gakupo asked with an intense feeling of foreboding.

"She helped me. She... stopped him, from... I tried, but I couldn't move. Gakupo..." Gumi covered her face with her hands.

"I'm sorry," Gakupo said quietly, hating himself. "I tried to help you, but there wasn't anything I could do. At the end of the day, I'm an eggplant. I couldn't do anything against a human, even when he was hurting you."

"Her name is Miku," Gumi continued speaking in a whisper. "She's here with me, Gakupo. She heard you screaming... and me... that's why."

"Was she a vegetable, too?" Gakupo asked, worried for Gumi. "Is that why..? I thought humans were different than this, but if this is what they're like, then I hope they all die!"

"They're not all like that. This one... this human... he was a bad guy, Gakupo," Gumi raised her eyes, and they looked strange for a moment. Gakupo fell silent and stared back at her. "The bad guys need to get stopped. You are right to become a samurai. If you become a samurai... if you become a samurai... bad guys won't be able to do bad things in front of you. But if you fail, you'll be killed. Just like me. So, I'll help you. Because my hate is stronger than anyone's. I'll help you to stop the bad guys."

"Gumi..?" Gakupo asked softly. "No..."

"No," Gumi agreed. She blinked, and the strange look disappeared from her eyes. She stared clearly at Gakupo's deep violet flesh. "I know what to do next now, Gakupo. She's showing me, sharing her memories, with me. We need to leave here, and then... and then..."

Swaying a little as she tried to stand, Gumi staggered towards the eggplant. Her eyes met him with resolve. He tried not to pay so much attention to the obvious places of damage on her body, but it hurt him to look at them. Gumi picked him up carefully.

"And then, we'll work together," Gakupo finished quietly. After a moment, Gumi nodded, and the fear drained from the eggplant like so much excess water in a drainage tray.

"Yes," the girl said, and Gakupo wondered whether it was Gumi speaking... or Miku.


	11. Chapter 11

I think I need to rename this story the "Write Something Every Day that the author doesn't have a life-threatening emergency to deal with Story"

Sorry invisible readers, I failed to update for weeks now? Or something like that. But HANG ON EVEN LONGER FOR RANDOM CRAP BECAUSE I'M STILL IN CRISIS WOOOO .-.;

For the sake of anything... here is a random thing added!

A donut and an avocado pit walked hand in hand down the street. The avocado pit split in half in the warmth of the sun so suddenly that the donut startled.

"What have you become?" The donut exclaimed in shock.

"I have become a sapling. In seven years I will become a tree that produces new avocados!" The avocado tree sapling replied in surprised pride.

"But avocados don't go along with donuts. Become a coffee tree instead!" The donut demanded unreasonably, tears of anxiety in its eyes. "I will not be parted from you!"

"We shall be inseparable, even if we cannot be eaten at the same meal," The sapling replied, tears springing to its eyes as well. It clasped the donut's hand more strongly and tried to bravely smile. "Please, visit me when I am a tree and can no longer walk with you because I am rooted into the ground."

"I promise," said the donut, feeling lonely already. "But in return, you must provide shade for my frosting from the bright sun when I come to visit, or I shall melt away."

"It will be our special promise," The avocado sprout whispered and held the donut close in a strong embrace. The donut shut its eyes tightly and didn't let go for a long time.


	12. Chapter 12

In another galaxy, far away, Queen Beryl of the Negamoon Kingdom of Noncannonreality picked at her immaculate fingernails. 

"This will never do," She stated in a voice that sent shivers up the spines of all the bishounen who quivered under her boot heel. "It's been how long since I vanquished that little Moon brat? Seven Seasons?"

"No my queen, it's been longer than that. Because you never vanquished her," Malachite quivered sexually in arousal as piercing eyes stared him down. He just knew that Beryl was thinking of all sorts of nasty ideas he would hear about later to use with Jadeite. The thought made him drool slightly on one side of his perfectly shaped mouth, which he hastily wiped quickly with the back of his hand to hide it.

"You dare correct me?!" Beryl shrieked. "Not only that, but you dare to appear less cool than in the shows in this fanfic? I should smite you where you stand!"

"No, my queen!" Malachite exclaimed in dismayed terror.

"Very well. If you must be a spineless parody of your original character, then the only way I shall allow you a second chance to redeem yourself is to imbue a new set of Sailor Scouts with transformation crystals. Then, we shall fight again, and this time... I will win!" Laughing hysterically, Beryl threw her head back like a mad woman and cackled long and hard. The bishounen at her feet exchanged concerned glances.

"This isn't boding well," Rubius murmured, face creased in worry.

"I agree," Pegasus whispered back.

"Why are you here?" Tiger Eye hissed venomously as the queen's crazed laughter continued even longer. "You don't even belong in this arc. And you were never on the Negaverse's side to begin with!"

"No, it's alright, my dear boy," Pegasus whispered urgently back. "I'm actually crashing this party from Yu-Gi-Oh. Not from another season's arc."

"There's gotta be some horrible backstory to this that will only make sense if you're completely insane," Black Lady chipped in her two cents from some time in the future.

"YES! THIS TIME I SHALL TRIUMPH OVER THOSE LITTLE SAILOR BRATS!" Queen Beryl shouted to the heavens, flinging her arms wide in presumptive, glorious victory. "Go forth, my little space monkeys! Create a new set of Sailor Scouts! And then! DESTROY THEM!"


End file.
